Letting Go
by Song of the Nightingale
Summary: Edward tried to let go; but he couldn't. Being betrayed and all, he took another way in order to free himself from what he was feeling. But was he free in the end? Warning, Gore


This is an AU by the way.

**Warning: **Violence and Gore ahead

**Pairing: **Edward x Envy

-

_**It was time to let go.**_

_**Why hold onto something that can break and hurt you easily?**_

_**Why keep holding onto it, when you yourself know that, in the end, you will be the one getting hurt?**_

_**Why keep holding onto something that you couldn't have?**_

_**I give him my all, but I got nothing, **nothing**, in return.**_

_**Even though I noticed that, his heart is no longer with me, even though I noticed…**_

_**But I still hold onto it, dearly, hoping that one day, he will come back for me. **_

Tears welled-up in my eyes as it blurred my vision as I lift up my arms, letting go of the object I held in my hands as it fall onto the floor with a 'clank!'. Tears drop onto my hands, while becoming one with the redness covering it.

-

"_Edward?" Winry asked, while grabbing on my shoulders as she shook me, hoping to get a response from me. _

_All she got was silence. _

"_Edward, please," she plead, "Scream, shout, cry or anything, __**answer **__me!" _

_The color drained from her face when I grinned, body shaking along with my chuckle while my stomach turned. The area around my heart felt heavy and suffocating, "This must be a mistake, yes, a mistake…"_

"_Edward," Winry continued, while her grip on my shoulders harden as she turned me around to face her, "This is no mistake; you, no, __**we**__, saw Envy and that guy __**kissed**__ and walk into that hotel, you saw that as well, it's not only me!" _

"_Envy said I'm the only one…"_

"_He __**cheated **__on you!" _

"…_He said that he will never betray me-"_

"_Edward, you saw it, you freaking saw them kissing and going in-"_

"_-NO HE DIDN'T!" I shook free of Winry's grip, while eyes narrowing in fury. How dare she? Envy promised, he did promise that I'm the only one, and he never lies, __**never**__. _

"_Shut your trap; that wasn't Envy at all! It must be someone similar, it must be!" with that, I turned around as I ran, as fast as I could, away from Winry, away from that building where we saw Envy entering with another, away from those __**lies**__. _

_-_

"Why did you _lie_? You always-" I choked, while crawling towards the figure lying on the floor, the source of that very redness on my hands, "-Told me not to hide myself, cover myself up, with lies."

"You told me not to lie; but what about you?" I asked, knowing very well that I wouldn't get a response, "-Why did you lie?"

"Of all peoples," scooping up the figure into my arms, while cupping his face with a hand, "Why must it be you?"

-

"_Nii-san," I turned to face Alphonse, who was looking at me with a worried look, "Are you sure that you can handle it? You didn't need to give him the present yourself; I can give it to him-"_

"_It's okay Alphonse," I smiled, "I wanted to give this to him myself."_

"_Nii-san-"_

"_Please Alphonse," I begged, hoping that Alphonse can let me go for today, just for today, "It will be the last time, and count it as my gift for Christmas, please?"_

_Knowing that he couldn't convince me further, Alphonse sigh as he turned, going back to his work._

"_...As you wish." _

_A delighted smile lit up on my face, although the assurance of relief hardly smoothes my aching heart._

"_I promised Alphonse; this would be the __**last**__."_

_-_

It was the last indeed.

The blood on my hand stained the pale, icy skin of Envy, while those soulless and empty eyes stare into mine, "I thought you will come back, I thought you was just angry at me, I thought you _loved_ me."

"But at least now; you won't be staring at me with disgust." I smiled, while fingers trailing along his eye, leaving a faint red trail behind.

-

_It couldn't hurt more when Envy pushed me away harshly as I land onto the floor painfully on my back; but the pain I felt physically doesn't match up to the one I felt on my heart, as if being stabbed numerous times, digging into it deeper and deeper. _

_I didn't hear what Envy said, nor looking up into those eyes of his; which was filled with rage and disgust. _

"_No… You aren't the Envy I know…" I mumbled to myself, while getting up from the floor, fingers touching the edge of the pocket of my jeans, while pulling out the pen knife I brought along, pushing the blade out, "-YOU AREN'T!"_

_Before Envy could react, I stab the blade into the area where his heart is, while the both of us land onto the ground as our feet stumbled. Straddling his hips, I pull out the knife as I raise it over my head, stabbing down once again, before pulling out, stabbing in again, pull out and stab in again, pull out and stab again…_

_With both hands, I pull the knife itself down, ripping the skin as I stop at the area above his stomach. The blade broke from my harshness, sticking into the flesh as I pull it out, and my stabbing came to an end. His eyes were staring at me, widening in surprise and shock, while his mouth twitch, as if trying to say something, while my eyes narrowed in irritation._

_I push the blade out till the end, and with another sickening 'splash!' when I stabbed onto his throat, the redness covering his pale neck flows down as it stained his emerald bangs, and finally; he stopped moving._

_The blood soak through the black sweater he was wearing, with the area he was laying onto formed a puddle of blood, staining the jeans I was wearing, along with the room covered with the coppery smell of his blood. _

_-_

"…I thought if I did this, the pressure I felt will come to an end; but it didn't."

"Alphonse, Winry, _you_, told me to let go." I continued on my mumbles, while lifting his head up, landing it gently on my shoulder, while still holding onto the back of his head, "I tried. I did tried; but I just can't," the tears that had been dried welled-up once again while I managed to choke out with that hard lump in my throat, "I _**can't**_."

_**I can't let go; I couldn't. **_

_**Letting go of you…**_

_**-**_

…I was wondering if I should post this, and after letting two peoples read it, and got their review, I post it.

I wrote this for Christmas, actually, but I was hesitating if I should put it up at all.

And in the end, I did.

Well, I hope that everyone of you had a wonderful Christmas, and by the way, I count this little one-shot as a small gift to me and everyone… Since I didn't get anything for Christmas at all *sob*.

I hope that it's angst enough… I never tried my hands on it before. If it's good, perhaps I will proceed onto this category more in the future… Please review.


End file.
